Jeffrey Hecker

Better Reasons the Shuttle Program Ends

Agnostic astronauts re-enter atmosphere exhibiting Catholic pizzazz.
Big Dipper is 3-D & contains hominy.

Cyrillic numbers prove to be shadows of bunga bunga sex.
Domesday Book — who alive reads it cover to cover? STS-135’s entire crew.

Engineering chief rocks an eye-patch TV.
Fireballs aren’t supposed to follow you.

Galilean moons Callisto & Ganymede swap quadrant.
Hubble telescope’s computer sings double double toil trouble sometimes.

International Astronomical Union’s singular slogan: May flower bring meteor shower.
John Glenn only travels by Eskimo umiaq.

Kepler’s 4th Law of Motion postulates breeding woolly-enough-to-ride sheep.
Libra< Bingo.

Moon River > Moon.
New science admits each star is a scratch on our ocular scrim.

Orbital Mariner 10 transmissions reveal a floating five-fanged jackal.
Picnics attract space junk.

Q*bert banned from mall arcade when test pilot shouts “ain’t called Q*bert in Wing J!”
Rival software companies settle on ennui.

Simon Says Fuck Math.
Trivial Pursuit Quasar Edition sells 100 units U.S., 1,000,000,000,000 units Hong Kong.

Ultra violent radiation’s a turnoff.
Voltage keeps Tycho Brahe’s castle dwarf Jepp alive.

Wormholes break but don’t bend.
XMRadio on MIR station is hypnopatriotic.

Yearning reduces to the turned knob.
Zeus has a hoarder mama.



Jeffrey Hecker was born in 1977 in Norfolk, VA. A graduate of Old Dominion University, his debut book, Rumble Seat, is published by San Francisco Bay Press ( Recent work has appeared in, Plural Turtle, Cannonball City, and The Waterhouse Review (where he was nominated for a 2011 Pushcart Prize.)  New poems forthcoming in the Los Angeles-based Zocalo Public Square and London’s La Reata Review. He lives with his wife Robin in Olde Towne Portsmouth, Virginia.