Better Reasons the Shuttle Program Ends
Agnostic astronauts re-enter atmosphere exhibiting Catholic pizzazz.
Big Dipper is 3-D & contains hominy.
Cyrillic numbers prove to be shadows of bunga bunga sex.
Domesday Book — who alive reads it cover to cover? STS-135’s entire crew.
Engineering chief rocks an eye-patch TV.
Fireballs aren’t supposed to follow you.
Galilean moons Callisto & Ganymede swap quadrant.
Hubble telescope’s computer sings double double toil trouble sometimes.
International Astronomical Union’s singular slogan: May flower bring meteor shower.
John Glenn only travels by Eskimo umiaq.
Kepler’s 4th Law of Motion postulates breeding woolly-enough-to-ride sheep.
Moon River > Moon.
New science admits each star is a scratch on our ocular scrim.
Orbital Mariner 10 transmissions reveal a floating five-fanged jackal.
Picnics attract space junk.
Q*bert banned from mall arcade when test pilot shouts “ain’t called Q*bert in Wing J!”
Rival software companies settle on ennui.
Simon Says Fuck Math.
Trivial Pursuit Quasar Edition sells 100 units U.S., 1,000,000,000,000 units Hong Kong.
Ultra violent radiation’s a turnoff.
Voltage keeps Tycho Brahe’s castle dwarf Jepp alive.
Wormholes break but don’t bend.
XMRadio on MIR station is hypnopatriotic.
Yearning reduces to the turned knob.
Zeus has a hoarder mama.
Jeffrey Hecker was born in 1977 in Norfolk, VA. A graduate of Old Dominion University, his debut book, Rumble Seat, is published by San Francisco Bay Press (www.sanfranciscobaypress.com). Recent work has appeared in altdaily.com, Plural Turtle, Cannonball City, and The Waterhouse Review (where he was nominated for a 2011 Pushcart Prize.) New poems forthcoming in the Los Angeles-based Zocalo Public Square and London’s La Reata Review. He lives with his wife Robin in Olde Towne Portsmouth, Virginia.